sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And then my night got REAL pukey
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
