You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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