Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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