HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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