Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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