So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
