It's just like the Real World with babies
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
