I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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