A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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