you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
