I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
