thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
