It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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