Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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