just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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