Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
