you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
grandma shit on top of the toilet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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