Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
