have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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