I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
