remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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