those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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