You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize