Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
