I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
