hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
