I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
