"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
