fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
