pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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