Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were trust falling into bushes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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