i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
