u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
