honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
