Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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