TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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