one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
