I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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