Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
even my farts smell like vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
