In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
