guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize