You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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