Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize