Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
