Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
