i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When are your genitals available?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize