Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i've created a new STD.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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