I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
