Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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