who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
