Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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