So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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