so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
