Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
