I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So vagazzling was a success
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
