We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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