I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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