alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
