ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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