youre lurking in front of me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
