what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
