i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
