There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize