Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her vagine was all disorganized.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
